Party Sevens

Sunday, December 31, 2017
By The GlamGuru

Whether you were a 70′s Party Organiser or a 70′s Party Animal, your “do” wasn’t complete without a few Party Sevens or Party Cans.

They were giant beer cans that held near enough a gallon of beer or lager.

The demise of the British Engineering Industry and the lack of new Engineering Apprentices has resulted in a whole new generation of young people unable to grasp the technicalities of opening a Party Can. The main skill involved piercing a hole in the can to pour the booze out of and finding the exact spot, 180 degrees further round the circumference to place the second hole to aid flow. (Remember that by the end of the night, the host’s aiming accuracy will have been greatly impaired dependent on how many Party Sevens they have previously consumed).

Any Behavioural Psychology or Social Science/Anthropology students who have been asked to write a dissitation on the Party Can could gain a great amount of knowledge studying the habits of the consumer:-

1 The “I’ve Just Been On a Package Holiday To Benidorm” Guy -Will be holding the can at arms length and directing the jet of lager at his mouth from a distance. (Make sure you’ve plenty of kitchen tissue rolls handy).

2 Frustrated Circus Performer – Attempts to juggle bottles of Jubilee Stout whilst using two Party Sevens as makeshift stilts.

3 Technophobe – completely baffled by the above mentioned opening process. Likely to remain thirsty or go onto lemonade for the rest of the night.

4 Alcoholic Technophobe – Completely baffled, but will attempt to open Party Seven with teeth.

5 Aggressive Defender – has claimed a Party Seven for his own use and will fight anyone who challenges him for a glass full.

6 Eco Warrior – Insists on taking home the empty Party Sevens to put in the recycling bin.

7 Blue Peter Presenter Wannabee – Insists on taking home the empty Party Cans to make stylish wastebins or makeshift executive desk tidys.

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