Furry Dice

Such is the popularity of this feature, I have started to receive requests…well, one so far, but it’s a start ! So, feel free to drop me a note with suggestions for future fads, but beware – you lay yourself open to Michael Extraction, even though I followed all the fads myself but am trying to kid you that I didn’t : )

Seriously, I have never owned a pair of furry dice. There is nothing dangling from my rear view mirror apart from a lone cobweb. Anyone who has ever had a lift from me will tell you this is more a case of the need for good visability to avoid innocent pedestrians and road cones rather than snobbery.

Label or categorise furry dice owners ?…moi ? Let me just say that the following questionnaire will reveal all as it originates from a genuine official source…probably :-

Furry Dice Owner Survey
Name (Please Tick Appropriate)

Male:- Wayne_____ Stevo______ Gaz _____ Craig_____

Female:- Trace_____ Shaz____ Debs____

Model Of Cortina:- G___ GL___ GLX____

Other Make:- Mk1 Escort____ Vauxhall Viva _____ Bond Bug _____

Number of Go Faster Stripes _____ Number of Fake Rally Spotlights______

Please circle which sticker you have in the back window:-

“My Other Car Is A Porche”, “Passion Waggon, Don’t Laugh your Daughter’s Inside”,

“Save Gas, Fart In A Jar”, “Windsurfers Do It Standing Up”

Male :- What do you look for in a woman ?

A caring independent individual who will be your lifetime soulmate____ A blonde with a high sex drive who lives above an off-licence/liquor store_____ A woman who doesn’t mind searching for the spanner whilst you fit a Weber carb to your Cortina____

Female:- What do you look for in a man ?

A caring independent individual who will be your lifetime soulmate____ A man with a big medallion___ Someone who apologises after breaking wind, instead of just laughing and holding your head under the bedclothes____

Please indicate which of the following you have in your home:-

A Merry Monk___ A working plastic model of Mannequin Pis___ A wooden donkey which dispenses a cigarette from it’s rear when you lift the tail___ A Bay City Rollers fridge magnet ___ Fruit fridge magnets____Any fridge magnet____ A large painting of a nude couple and a swan by the seashore___ A sparklets soda syphon____

Describe the contents of your front garden, ie:- number of old matresses, scrap cars with wheels missing etc.