A collection of articles from the GlamGuru which may or may not be:-

1) About the 70s or 80s..... 2) Interesting or coherent... 3) Make me a substitute for  Stuart Maconie or Will Self etc (though I will work cheap !!)

All material copyright Naff Caff 2004 (as if anyone would nick it...)

Vinyl For Sale (not really...)

I need the space, so I'm embarking on a clearout of singles.  Going through
my collection and throwing out the trash. A kind of Desert Island Discs in
reverse.
OK, so I'm baring my soul a little here.  All my peers circa 1982, the ones
who attended a series of gigs called The Alternative (free admission to the
un-waged) will see my cover blown.  They will realise that I actually latched
onto the Clash, The Damned, Pistols etc at least two years after everyone else,
but it's a  risk I'll have to take.
Condition of the records listed below follow the system used by Record
Collector Magazine i.e.: (M)int, (Ex)cellent, (G)ood, (F)air, (P)oor. 
DURAN DURAN - Please, Please, Tell Me Now (Is There Something I Should Know) 
(P) - Bought in 1982 to impress a girl called Gillian, this one has to go. 
Not only for its indiscriminate use of brackets, but because of the clever Le
Bon lyric You're about as easy as a nuclear war.
SABRINA - Boys, Boys, Boys (P) - I fell for it.  Did you see the video?  Well
endowed Euro-temptress who will be remembered, apart from the obvious, for
bringing out the single 'Every Girl and Boy Likes Making Love' right in the
middle of the Aids hysteria.
BILL WYMAN - Si Si, Je Suis Une Rock Star (P) - The Rolling Stones' bassist
goes it alone and proves why he's the Stones' bassist.  I drank far too much in
1981.
J GEILS BAND - Centerfold (P) - Because it brings back memories of a seedy
city centre pub and a DJ who resembled Kid Jensen's Dad.  You just know that the
line 'My Angel is a centerfold' translates as, 'a Polaroid of my ex has
appeared on the Reader's Wives page'. Tacky, politically incorrect, very un-80s,
what was I thinking of?  I drank far too much in 1982.
BARDOT - One Step Further (P) - After the landslide victory in the 1981
Eurovision Song Contest, Great Britain needed another Bucks Fizz, and Bardot were
probably the two that were left behind when the Bucks Fizz tour bus set off. 
Rules at the time required each entry to be close to 3 minutes in duration. 
'One Step Further' was bang on 3 minutes, a carefully crafted Eurovision song,
bouncy, cute with obligatory key change.  It lost out to the German girl who
sang the one about Peace.
NENA - 99 Red Balloons (P) - Speaking of German girls, I fell for this one
too (see entry under Sabrina).  It was the pink headband and electric blue
boiler suit that had me reaching for my wallet in HMV back in the spring of 1984. 
I drank too much in 1984. 
Sensible offers only for the above.  May exchange for beer/wine etc

Above article first published in the Dark Neon Ezine July 2003 www.darkneon.com